Imagine if your life is a roll-up banner, X-banner, or whatever type of banner. Banner. What would you write on it? I'm not suggesting something like: Beloved father, loyal husband and caring friend. It's not a tombstone you're writing on. It's a banner. A wide piece of cloth/plastics that people strech up in the air accross a road or the ones that people display on a steel frame in malls, in public. What would you write?
Most of you may want to write your name. You can. But come on people, be more original. Besides, others will judge you on first name basis. You know, all the philosophical, cultural and religous atributes that may be embedded in your name. Most people expect you to live up to your name. If not, they will try to link your name with your looks, origin, educational background, occupation and all social status you may posses. If you live up to that pre-conceived image, then a smile will greet you. So now, ever wonder why some would frown at the sound of your name?
Or do you let others write them for the you. Have them pick the words, punctutuation,precise grammatical structures that prevent ambiguity? You may say that people know you better since they're the ones observing your every action and then translate them into a perception of you in their brain, thus YOU are what they think and say. But is that how it suppose to work? I'm not into the whole 'be yourself' lecture. One could argue that one's concept of 'self' is an ever-evolving identity that is dynamic and will keep on changing even after the person's gone. So let's get back to the question, what would you write on yor banner?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Blogging Overture 1
Ok, I've been meaning to post 2 writings since yesterday but been delayed with lotsa (insignificant) stuffs.
The funny thing is that, while procrastinating I just feel energized when I think about the writings I'll be posting. It feels 'good' knowing that I have things to write and not having my blog being set aside for long. Well, it has been set aside for looong time.
So while waiting the two writings that I mentioned to be posted, hopefully this short-mundane-insignificant post can keep you company. Again, hopefully. *fingers creossed*
The funny thing is that, while procrastinating I just feel energized when I think about the writings I'll be posting. It feels 'good' knowing that I have things to write and not having my blog being set aside for long. Well, it has been set aside for looong time.
So while waiting the two writings that I mentioned to be posted, hopefully this short-mundane-insignificant post can keep you company. Again, hopefully. *fingers creossed*
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Solace?
I remember the times when I was in college, while I was still staying in my old rented room. Griya Satria, yes that's the name. I remember the bed, the balcony in front of my room, the people, the good times.
I remember how I liked to watch DVD during night time while having snack. And yes I called a plate of fried rice as snack. I did that when I had not much to do. Or depressed. It was quite a solace for me.
Now. A couple of years after I moves from that room, living in a new one, I'm doing the same thing. Watching DVD, munching, at night time. Not all the time. Just now. Fat alert? totally. My friends used to call it binge eating. They claimed it makes you happy. Well it kinda did. It temporalily distracted me from whatever I was thinking. Things that was splitting my head and breaking my heart.
Now. I'm repracticing that old routine, hoping that I can feel a little bit happy before I close my day and start a new one, filled with struggle. Why I'm doing that? Especially considering how well I've managed my diet and habit? In a nutshell: my love life sucks; my friendships are sinking; other than that, prety flat. Nothing. So I guess I tried to bury myself with work. Guess what? I'm afraid I'm gonna flunk it as well.
So here I am. Cup noodles, some pieces of chicken, coffee and DVDs. Fulll belly, empty heart. Happy? I don't know.
I remember how I liked to watch DVD during night time while having snack. And yes I called a plate of fried rice as snack. I did that when I had not much to do. Or depressed. It was quite a solace for me.
Now. A couple of years after I moves from that room, living in a new one, I'm doing the same thing. Watching DVD, munching, at night time. Not all the time. Just now. Fat alert? totally. My friends used to call it binge eating. They claimed it makes you happy. Well it kinda did. It temporalily distracted me from whatever I was thinking. Things that was splitting my head and breaking my heart.
Now. I'm repracticing that old routine, hoping that I can feel a little bit happy before I close my day and start a new one, filled with struggle. Why I'm doing that? Especially considering how well I've managed my diet and habit? In a nutshell: my love life sucks; my friendships are sinking; other than that, prety flat. Nothing. So I guess I tried to bury myself with work. Guess what? I'm afraid I'm gonna flunk it as well.
So here I am. Cup noodles, some pieces of chicken, coffee and DVDs. Fulll belly, empty heart. Happy? I don't know.
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Government is Knocking on Our Bedroom Door
Government: knock knock!
Citizen: Did u just knocked?
Government: Nope. I just made a sound as if I was knocking.
Citizen: uh ok. So, is there anything wrong?
Government: well it depends.
Citizen: Depends on what?
Government: Depends on how much you've paid to me.
Citizen: I've paid my income tax. I always vote during election. Well, I've PAID my dues.
Government: nah.. I don't really care about that.
Citizen: So? Don't you think it's inappropriate to knock on someone's door at this hour. 2 am if you haven't noticed.
Government: Remember, I didn't knocked. I made a sound. Besides you opened the door. And last time I checked you've relinquished a part of your freedom.
Citizen: I did. So you will make sure that people don't knock on my door at 2 frickin am!
Government: Well, I'm no people. I'm made of words and promises that stretch.
Citizen: Still, it doesn't give you right to come intrude into my bedroom.
Government: Dude, I define right. You just happen to believe I define it for your own good.
Citizen: So why are you here again?
Government: oh nothing, boring discussions. another corruption case. I'm bored. So I want to know what u're doing. You know a little variation from daily routines.
Citizen: Ok that's it. I'm calling the cop.
Government: err.. did u forget that they worked for me.
Citizen: What? They're independent!
Government: nah.. I want you to believe they are.
Citizen: Then I'll sue. Class action. We'll meet in supreme court.
Government: oh... they're under my control as well. Sorry dude, reality bites.
Citizen: Grrr... I'm closing the door.
Government: oh.. not so fast. Are you sleeping alone?
Citizen: No. And that doesn't concern you.
Government: Girlfriend?
Citizen: Why does that even matter to you if I've been dating her for 3 years now?!?
Government: So just "girlfriend"?
Citizen: Yes! now scram!!
Government: Well sorry dude, I gotta let the cops arrest you.
Citizen: WHAT??!! I'm doing nothing wrong.
Government: Let me break it down for you. You're sleeping with illegitimate spouse, not even a spouse. It violates my law since you're doing adultery. And...
Citizen: I'm doing in in my own room! I didn't invite anyone or harm anyone with what I did. You don't even know her for God's sake.
Government: Hey, I allow you to trust God, but it doesn't mean that you can use His Name like that. I can mobilize my religious anarchist group to make you learn the lesson. I can just tell them you're doing blasphemy. And to continue my sentence that you cut.. you're doing an action, which I don't approve, in your room in my country's territory. So yes, you fall under my law.
Citizen: This is ridiculous!
Government: Ah! another violation: slander! You're so busted dude.
Citizen: I'm innocent!!
Government: Well I don't care. Enjoy your room, behind the bars.
Government: (oh my I can't wait for tomorrow's headline. I'm a hero.)
Citizen: Did u just knocked?
Government: Nope. I just made a sound as if I was knocking.
Citizen: uh ok. So, is there anything wrong?
Government: well it depends.
Citizen: Depends on what?
Government: Depends on how much you've paid to me.
Citizen: I've paid my income tax. I always vote during election. Well, I've PAID my dues.
Government: nah.. I don't really care about that.
Citizen: So? Don't you think it's inappropriate to knock on someone's door at this hour. 2 am if you haven't noticed.
Government: Remember, I didn't knocked. I made a sound. Besides you opened the door. And last time I checked you've relinquished a part of your freedom.
Citizen: I did. So you will make sure that people don't knock on my door at 2 frickin am!
Government: Well, I'm no people. I'm made of words and promises that stretch.
Citizen: Still, it doesn't give you right to come intrude into my bedroom.
Government: Dude, I define right. You just happen to believe I define it for your own good.
Citizen: So why are you here again?
Government: oh nothing, boring discussions. another corruption case. I'm bored. So I want to know what u're doing. You know a little variation from daily routines.
Citizen: Ok that's it. I'm calling the cop.
Government: err.. did u forget that they worked for me.
Citizen: What? They're independent!
Government: nah.. I want you to believe they are.
Citizen: Then I'll sue. Class action. We'll meet in supreme court.
Government: oh... they're under my control as well. Sorry dude, reality bites.
Citizen: Grrr... I'm closing the door.
Government: oh.. not so fast. Are you sleeping alone?
Citizen: No. And that doesn't concern you.
Government: Girlfriend?
Citizen: Why does that even matter to you if I've been dating her for 3 years now?!?
Government: So just "girlfriend"?
Citizen: Yes! now scram!!
Government: Well sorry dude, I gotta let the cops arrest you.
Citizen: WHAT??!! I'm doing nothing wrong.
Government: Let me break it down for you. You're sleeping with illegitimate spouse, not even a spouse. It violates my law since you're doing adultery. And...
Citizen: I'm doing in in my own room! I didn't invite anyone or harm anyone with what I did. You don't even know her for God's sake.
Government: Hey, I allow you to trust God, but it doesn't mean that you can use His Name like that. I can mobilize my religious anarchist group to make you learn the lesson. I can just tell them you're doing blasphemy. And to continue my sentence that you cut.. you're doing an action, which I don't approve, in your room in my country's territory. So yes, you fall under my law.
Citizen: This is ridiculous!
Government: Ah! another violation: slander! You're so busted dude.
Citizen: I'm innocent!!
Government: Well I don't care. Enjoy your room, behind the bars.
Government: (oh my I can't wait for tomorrow's headline. I'm a hero.)
Friday, May 7, 2010
Half of A Pair
Depression lurks in the back of your mind,
a gaping emptiness devoid of soul.
Feelings clash, often becoming unkind,
as total sadness envelops you whole.
As encroaching walls get harder to bear
you seek romance in the pages of a book.
Memories of laughter echo silent there,
yet your misery deepens and you feel forsook.
Spurned by love anxieties start to climb,
you're alone and will be forever it seems.
You feel trapped and running out of time,
as disappearing hopes scatter your dreams.
Your quest for love has tested your soul,
your heart’s ignored and cast aside by fate.
Struggling inside, feelings fight for control,
you’re devastated for lack of a mate.
Abandoned by a love you sought to share,
you're left with pain and feelings of dread.
Always alone, only half of a pair,
loneliness causes years of tears to be shed.
by: Emile
Posted in http://allpoetry.com/poem/6418935
a gaping emptiness devoid of soul.
Feelings clash, often becoming unkind,
as total sadness envelops you whole.
As encroaching walls get harder to bear
you seek romance in the pages of a book.
Memories of laughter echo silent there,
yet your misery deepens and you feel forsook.
Spurned by love anxieties start to climb,
you're alone and will be forever it seems.
You feel trapped and running out of time,
as disappearing hopes scatter your dreams.
Your quest for love has tested your soul,
your heart’s ignored and cast aside by fate.
Struggling inside, feelings fight for control,
you’re devastated for lack of a mate.
Abandoned by a love you sought to share,
you're left with pain and feelings of dread.
Always alone, only half of a pair,
loneliness causes years of tears to be shed.
by: Emile
Posted in http://allpoetry.com/poem/6418935
His Name is Pain
His name is pain
He comes unexpectedly, abruptly...
He creep inside the dark room where you sit alone facing the window, reminiscing the past.
He lingers on you pillow, on you sweater, as the scent that stabs you right on the chest.
He is the cold air during the rainy season. Slow cold breezes that freeze you heart.
He is at every place, in every song, on every faces. Reminding you of the past. Torturing your every thought. Shattering your every hope.
His name is pain. He's not letting you go.
He comes unexpectedly, abruptly...
He creep inside the dark room where you sit alone facing the window, reminiscing the past.
He lingers on you pillow, on you sweater, as the scent that stabs you right on the chest.
He is the cold air during the rainy season. Slow cold breezes that freeze you heart.
He is at every place, in every song, on every faces. Reminding you of the past. Torturing your every thought. Shattering your every hope.
His name is pain. He's not letting you go.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A kick start
January kicks in pretty well.
1st: I've graduated, finished all campus administration, and now just waiting for the graduation ceremony.
2nd: I'm going back home. For that one, I'm not sure if that's a good thing since I'm not a fan of being at home. My life is going on a slow moving phase now. Still adjusting, and I hope it's a good start before the fast-working-lane.
3rd: I met a great person. I'm starting to like that person. A concern: It's going really well and a bit fast. I feel great about this new "thing", but my paranoid side just keep on putting all this "what if" scenario. Perhaps I am afraid of getting hurt again, but... I don't know. I really don't want to think ahead of myself now. I just want to enjoy this moment.
4th: I've sent my application to several companies, hoping to get good response and of course a good job.
Hoping January gets better as it's approacing its end. *fingers crossed*
1st: I've graduated, finished all campus administration, and now just waiting for the graduation ceremony.
2nd: I'm going back home. For that one, I'm not sure if that's a good thing since I'm not a fan of being at home. My life is going on a slow moving phase now. Still adjusting, and I hope it's a good start before the fast-working-lane.
3rd: I met a great person. I'm starting to like that person. A concern: It's going really well and a bit fast. I feel great about this new "thing", but my paranoid side just keep on putting all this "what if" scenario. Perhaps I am afraid of getting hurt again, but... I don't know. I really don't want to think ahead of myself now. I just want to enjoy this moment.
4th: I've sent my application to several companies, hoping to get good response and of course a good job.
Hoping January gets better as it's approacing its end. *fingers crossed*
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